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I become the epitamy of self destruction and hatred. It is such an internal explosion that spontaneous combustion has nothing on me. I wish I could say that I had a reason for hurting you, that would make your hatred of me be easier to take.
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I have no excuse. I have no reason.
I have nothing but time to think about what I've done to you repeatedly. I have nothing but time to try to stop the control that the voice has over me.
I have no hope that you will forgive me, I wouldn't forgive me.
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I have closed all the doors that ladjes to your pain. Every single time I hurt you, I had been drinking. Every hurtful word, painful blow or spiteful action, I had been drinking.
When situations become too much for me to deal with, I would listen to that voice and proceed to drown out everything around me. The alcohol had all of me and wouldn't share.
I also believe that you knew this all along. I think that you wanted to control someone for once in your life.
I believe that you had grown tired of all the other women telling you when, where and how Beautiful ladies looking orgasm Flint to jump. You were tired of being the victim and after I hurt you the first time, I really think you became hellbent of proving you could be the one that came out smiling.
I Horny bitches in Overland park that you wanted to get away a very long time ago, but wanted to keep me dangling from that thread for spite.
You wanted to punish me and you did.
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I deserved punishment and so much more. I couldn't see any light for the alcohol clouded over me. But I also know that a "couple" means more than 1 person in the relationship. It took efforts from both of us and you had your faults and issues too, just not with the alcohol.
So Beautiful ladies looking orgasm Flint the pissing match we entered in.
I am truly sorry for the "Hurricane" you were brought into. The real me wouldn't have done any of those things I commited against you.Find Singles In Bakersfield California
The real me would have never even looked at another, and the Beautiful ladies looking orgasm Flint me wouldn't have fell into the "alcoholic pool". The real me is a fighter, a devoted lover and one hell of a woman. Just ask someone who has known me for while, after all, You've only known me for 1 year.
This too shall pass, I will be sober and I will not fall victim to that voice in me any longer. I am a white BBW waiting for a genuinely sweet man to get to know.
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